My FaceBook friends and family know that yesterday, TPH and I celebrated our 13th anniversary. 13 years is a long time. Especially because if you catch me off guard and ask me how old I am I'll say in all honesty, 27.
13 years for us has meant 6 (KA"H) kids, 14 pets, 10 moves, 3 houses, 8 cars, many challenges and lots and lots of love.
My first thought is a smug, hey, look at us. But when I think about it for even a minute it's replaced with, wow, are we lucky. Yesterday we were talking about our engagement and wedding, and TPH reminded me about five couples that we knew that had also gotten engaged or married around the same time that we did. Sadly, only 1 other couple besides us is still married. So I guess that 13 isn't something to sneeze at. The truth is that even with Any Perfect Husband, a marriage is work. Much, much more work than anyone could've convinced me of 14 or 15 years ago. I'm only beginning to understand how much patience, respect and fine tuning a marriage takes.
When I was in seminary, I still remember a teacher saying, "Whatever you do, don't think that you are going to change your husband." Who he is when you marry him is who he'll likely remain. If he doesn't do x, y and z before you get married, you aren't going to wave your wand and get him to do so even 20 years down the line. I've found this to be true on some levels, but what this or any other teacher didn't mention is how much you'll change and grow together, as a couple. How after all this time the line between who he is and who you are starts to fade. The memories you share together are more than the memories you each have individually, and how your goals and aspirations become not only your own but for each other and the amazing family that you share.
It's a beautiful thing, and I've been very blessed indeed.