My Gratitude Challenge: Day 4

Today I'm grateful for Facebook. Don't laugh!

If you know me, you know I've been a fan since day one, but besides the entertainment value, there's a lot of good that goes on there. First and foremost, it helps me stay connected with my loved ones. All 265 of them. No, really! Remember, I've made aliyah before, and this is my second time trying to bridge a gap that goes much further than halfway around the globe, and much deeper than the Atlantic ocean. I have to say that although it's still hard, if I didn't have Facebook, I might've very well had a(nother) failed aliyah. For reals. 

For those of you who don't have family overseas, it's hard to know just how hard it is to make those crucial phone calls. The time difference makes it a lot harder than you'd guess. Even if I wait until the kids are in bed so I can steal a few quiet minutes on the phone, I'm usually too tired to make the effort or it's a bad time for my loved ones who are still in the middle of their busy days. But FB lets me see those hourly updates of my nieces and nephews whom I miss terribly. Because of FB, I can chat with, keep up with, and generally stalk my loves. 

So thank you Facebook for bridging the gap. 

I'm also grateful for the positive impact that FB often has. Yes, there is plenty of negative junk too, but if you're mature enough (I always tell my kids they can get a FB account when they're 31-that's when I did!) it can be a great tool for connecting with others on many levels. Take for example my good friend Wendy B. I was so touched that Wendy decided to follow suit and start her own 30 Days of Gratitude after reading about my new challenge. 

Or how about the charity organizations, tehillim groups, and prayer requests? The neighborhood association groups? The "frugal" groups? Or my all time favorite user: "Hashem"? ("So and So shared Hashem's photo" still gets me every time...)

I know that FB still has it's haters. But you've got to admit there's a lot of good to be gained here. And for that I'm grateful.

My Gratitude Challenge: Day 3

Ok, I've got one: 

Today I'm grateful for my work at home job(s)! I would never be able to work out of the house at this point in my life and there are almost too many perks to count. It's not an easy thing, and one really has to be an excellent multitasker or it won't work (and doesn't for many). But today I'm ignoring the difficult aspects and focusing on the positive:

Sending emails from bed. 
Grabbing (quiet!)kisses from my kids while I sit through meetings. 
Setting up appointments from a park bench while my kids play at the playground nearby.
Making my own hours more or less.
Doing conference calls in my jammies.
Pretending like I'm my own boss. 
Washing the floor while I QA.
Running to the store in between meetings.
Being available for drop off and pick up, or bringing lunches or other forgotten items to school.

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION, baby!

My Gratitude Challenge: Day 2

Let's face it. The first few days of this "Challenge" aren't going to be too challenging...

Today I'm truly thankful for 6 beautiful people who give me my favorite title in life! They are messy (ok, they are downright slovenly), loud, needing to be fed every single darn minute, and are always in my space. But they are also the lights of my life. 

As they get older, and are becoming "real" people with mature thoughts and feelings, I am constantly amazed at how much we can laugh (or cry) together. I might not always be the best mother: was it tonight at dinner that I yelled, "If you don't stop fighting I'm going to run away, and find another Abba and marry him and have NEW babies!!"? Or how about right before dinner, when BAW came home with N in tow whom he found outside a block away "Just walking the dog, Imma!"? But I digress...

What was I saying? Oh yes. I might not always be the best mother, but we've had some pretty good times, me and my 6 shining stars. I'm hoping this is just the beginning of those times.

And I know it's only Day 2, but out of everything in my life, I have to say that they are the best things that ever happened to me, and for them I am eternally grateful.

My Gratitude Challenge

It's time to bring this blog back from the dead. 

I've had a rough couple of months. I'm not sure the hardest parts have past yet, but I figure there's no time like the present to get back on the blog wagon. Hardy har. 

With the struggles of the past few months (you may know some of them, but trust me, you really don't know all of them), my relationship with the Big Guy Upstairs has become strained, to say the least. I often start my days angry or sad, and it's hard to have a relationship when you feel sad or angry with someone (or Someone) most of the time. It's harder still to pray, or to feel a real connection. I'm only sharing these very personal details with you because I want your help with my next step. 

I've heard that one way to brighten one's spirits, while at the same time feel connected again is to show gratitude; to feel real gratitude from the heart. I'm going to pledge here to sign in every day for the next month and post one thing that I'm grateful for. It won't be easy. With 2 jobs, a bunch 'o kids and the craziness of every day life, it will be downright difficult. But I'm hoping that by posting one thing I'm thankful for every day, I'll become a happier, re-connected person. 

Here's where you come in: Either be a loyal reader and stand by the sidelines and just tune in to let me know that someone out there is keeping me to my promise. Or, join me, and post one thing a day that you're thankful for too. It might me feel like less of a nerd. 

So thanks. And that's my first thank you; Thank you for friends I can count on. If you have allowed me to lean on you over the past few months (and you know who you are!) I thank you, and I am truly thankful for you.

Another year, another anniversary

Here we are again, time for The Anniversary Post. A friend reminded me yesterday (on our big 1-4) about the post I wrote last year on this day. It's here. The truth is not much has changed. I don't have any earth shaking revelations that I've gained since last year. If writing again, I would still say that I am amazed at how much work a marriage takes. On both sides. 


We've had a rough year. The lack of touchy-feely blog posts might have been a clue. Things, challenges, arose that I can't really talk about here, but they were hard. Really, really hard. Thank G-d we're all ok and still standing. 


The bottom line is that if you have that person next to you that you can lean on, give support to, and get support from, it's a very good thing. I know that not everyone's challenges in life are the same. I also know that we get what we can handle. There are many times during this year where I've really doubted that. That Someone may have made a mistake as to just what we are both capable of handling. 


But our anniversary brings me back to the present, it's an anchor. It reminds us that we've been very, very blessed this year as well. We celebrated an upsherin, a bat mitzva, a bar mitzva, and all surrounded by family and friends. We were so, so fortunate to be visited by grandparents, our kids great-grandparents who have never been to E"Y before. We are lucky to have celebrated multiple graduations, and the completion of another successful school year. Thank G-d, we've made it another year. 

Of Knee Socks and Leggings

Sometimes I am appalled at the disorganization of the schools here in Israel, our children's' schools not being an exception. There are countless times I have stood outside of one child's school, locked out, while trying in vain for over an hour to reach the office or someone inside to come out and unlock the gate. 

There are so many homework assignments that are not checked by teachers or followed up on. There are "CRUCIAL! OBLIGATORY!" school meetings or assemblies that are often called for Friday mornings and not announced until late Thursday afternoon. Trying to reach any of the offices is not only frustrating, but often leaves me wondering if the lack of ability to reach anyone in the school building could actually be dangerous. As a former teacher I am often horrified by the lack of follow up by teachers with students and parents alike, and I wonder if my children are the only ones who seem utterly clueless of important things like, "Well, the rest of the class seems to have working on that workbook for the past 3 months, and I just realized now, but no teacher ever bothered noticing, so..."

That said, somehow mine kinder are thriving. They are happy and they are learning. They are approaching the end of school year number 2, and if not completely fluent in Hebrew by now, most of them are grasping just about all of the school material. There are bad days, but they don't come often at all. They genuinely seem to enjoy going to school and are up at the crack of dawn every morning and moving purposefully to get out the door. (Read: Up at 5am, fighting with each other at 5:01am and only pausing to fight long enough to listen to me scream at them from my bed.)

So recently I was wondering why it is that although the schools here (and yes, yes, I know some are better than others, please don't start telling me why my kids should go to your kids' school) seem to be running on chaos and a prayer, why my kids aren't miserable. After 2 incidents that happened this week, I think I have some insight into why. I only have time to tell you about one:

J is nearing the end of her 6th grade year. As this is the end of many elementary schools here, the kids have to choose, apply to, interview with, and hopefully get accepted to a new school. It's a "Senior Year" in a sense. So, here she is, in her senior year in June, not doing much in school but fooling around and practicing for their end of year production/graduation when she calls BAW in a panic on Sunday. She's sobbing that the vice principal has been after her for weeks, and that she's going to make her go home because she isn't wearing knee socks (the school rule), and could we please bring her some. She's also been told that if she doesn't get knee socks they will take away her part in the play/dance/shindig. She also says that although she is wearing short socks, she is also wearing leggings that overlap with her short socks. 

BAW, not a big fan of the knee sock rule in general, asks to speak to the principal and firmly tells her that we both have work and will not be heading out to the school any time soon to bring knee socks. He also tells her that he is 100% behind school rules and will speak to J when she gets home. That could've been it. 

But then he tells me the whole story, and my heart goes out to her. I imagine her being shunned by a Burka wearing VP, mocked by her peers, and eventually being destroyed for all eternity. I get the damn socks and head up to school. My plan was to slip her the goods and get out. After all, there are 10 days left of school. 

As I walked up to the building I could hear the girls practicing choir for their performance, and the first thing I see when I enter the building are 85 6th grade girls with their backs towards me standing on bleachers belting out tunes. The second thing I see is about 10 of those legs as bare as they day they were born. First I was annoyed, then I started to get mad, then I was breathing fire. Why single my daughter out, when obviously there were many other girls in worse "state of undress"? Why pick on my kid who does not have a mean, immodest, rude bone in her body? Why make me late for work? Why embarrass my daughter who was CLEARLY covered while others were not? Why constantly give my daughter a hard time? 

In the middle of the practice, I marched over to the VP and demanded she give me a few minutes of her time. She rolled her eyes at me and said, "Can't you see I'm in the middle of something here?" She refused to speak with me, and luckily the music blasting drowned out the few choice words I had for her in my limited sailor's Hebrew. 

I went straight to the principal, and this was the turning point. She immediately saw how upset I was and took me into her office. (Incidentally I've seen her 'round town, and both her and her daughters are wonderful sandal wearing women.) I told her all sorts of reasons why I was upset and how this vice principal has no place in chinuch banot if all she can do is embarrass my child. I also told her that I completely agree with school rules and will 100% back them up. But where is the "ahava" we talk about all the time? Where's the love and kindness and compassion we are supposed to approach each child with when we teach them? Have we learned nothing from the "off the derech" generation? Is this a way to "teach" future mothers of Am Yisrael, leaders of the Jewish people? 

She listened to me and she listened well. And then something miraculous happened. Out of all of the chaos I've been experiencing in that school for 2 years, there was complete and total clarity when it mattered most. She agreed wholeheartedly and apologized to me. She said, "You are totally right. These girls are on the cusp of becoming women, leaders of Am Yisrael. Yes, rules are rules, but it's not the 'what', it's the 'how'. I'll speak to the vice principal and your daughter." She heard me out, she took care of the problem, but most importantly, she did it with the values and love that I want my daughter to learn from her!

J came home that day and said, "Imma, my teacher pulled me out of class afterwards and she said that she saw the whole thing, and spoke to the principal, and they both feel that I should not have been yelled at. She wants me to be happy and said she'll help me if anyone gives me a hard time again. She said she's proud of what a tzanua, great girl I am." So I dodged a bullet. Not only did I not mortify my daughter (and let me tell you how I was quaking in my boots all day until she came home to give a verdict!) but she came out feeling more loved and appreciated and proud of who she is than ever. 

And that, my friends is why my kids get up and get out the door. There are teachers and principals who love them and who truly care about their feelings. There are people in the administration who share the same vision as me: that we are raising the next generation and we better do it right, with the love that every child, every person deserves. 

Where We've Been

This page seems very, very empty and there is SO very much to say. 


In my idealist's mind, I had planned to document all of the craziness of our lives over the past couple of months; Bat Mitzva, Purim, Upsherin, Restaurant opening, Pesach, Bar Mitzva, but then...life happened. And there was just no time. 


I said goodbye to our visiting family yesterday, and I'm discovering that this is something that does not get any easier. I was a good sport while they pulled out of the driveway, but then I came into the house and had myself a good long cry. I just keep reminding myself how lucky we are that not only were my parents able to come to share the Bar Mitzva with us, but my grandparents as well who have never been to E"Y before. If nothing else, that comforts me tremendously. 


While the visits are intense, and long and even exhausting, it is always hard when they come to an end. Sigh. 


The Bar Mitzva itself was beautiful. The Bar Mitzva boy did me proud. I know how much he was out of his comfort level by "performing"; first laining, then a speech, but he did each one and did them well. I even barely had any "Wow, I'm So Old" moments. I was too busy enjoying the moment. 


After shul on Shabbos we invited the community over for a kiddush on our street, and then had the extended family for Shabbos lunch. Not only did my parents and grandparents come, but Uncle Y surprised us by making a last minute ticket. The kids were ecstatic (as were their parents :). 


The next day we had a beautiful small and intimate event at one of the local shuls, where the Bar Mitzva boy and BAW spoke. We even had music (Rosh Chodesh, ok?) and dancing and of course the obligatory slideshow. All throughout I kept glancing at my grandparents and just feeling so grateful that they were here and able to share with us. 


Anywhoo, that's it. I did it. I pulled it together, and not too shabbily I might add. We're back to real life over here. For us that means school for most, fevers for some, laundry for one. I wouldn't say we're relaxed in any sense of the word, but it's a good feeling to be able to concentrate on work and the restaurant, and just get things done that we've both been neglecting for a while. That's about it.