New Rules

Here we sit, a day later still licking our wounds. We got up, we sent the kids to school, did some dishes, washed the floors. But it's still with us. If we dared, we've glanced at the funeral pictures. If we're human, we've been obsessing about it all day and all night, and for some of us already, the next day too.


After yesterday's horrific events, we sat down with our three oldest (8-12) and had The Talk. It was not a talk that either of us wanted to have, but it was a talk that we had to, as things beyond our control had forced us to speak to them. We didn't talk about the gruesome details of Leiby Kletzky's murder, but I do fear that they will come home today with more information than they had when we sent them off, and I'm betting there will be another talk tonight. 


Last night's talk was hard enough without describing in detail the events of young Leiby's murder. You don't imagine that it will be hard to talk about things like safety and strangers, and Jewish strangers. But once you start and you see the brief shadow of fear pass over their eyes, it starts to get tough. We walked a fine line between giving clear, straightforward information as well as instructions for specific cases, and assuring them that they are safe. It was not an easy balancing act, but between the two of us, and with lots of G-d's help, I think we did ok. They had questions, most of which I could answer. But the question that kept coming back (and I heard it even again today) was "Why? Why would someone do such a thing?". I think this is the question we've all been asking ourselves. For this question I have no answer.


Leiby did everything he was supposed to do. He really wanted to walk to meet his parents, and they went over the route with him. When he realized he was lost, he asked a "frum" person for help. Until yesterday, these were the instructions I would've given my own kids. But yesterday everything changed. There are now a new set of rules, and not just for the kids, mind you.


It is so, SO important that each and every set of parents out there have a talk with their kids. From what to do when a stranger approaches them on the street to what to do if someone molests them, G-d forbid. The sexual molestation out there is so prevalent it's terrifying, and yes, I mean in the Jewish community. I know teens and adults who were molested as children, and their pain will never ever go away. Most of these kids and adults were afraid to speak to their parents. Afraid to go to an adult. No one had ever spoken to them about such things or prepared them that these things happen. Please, please, please! Make your kids aware. Do it b'timimus and at a time that they feel safe and loved. But do it. 

Leiby Kletzky, A"H

Yesterday things got busy, but today I had it all planned out. Today I was supposed to write all about the incredible Nefesh B'Nefesh ceremony I attended yesterday, about how inspiring and awesome it is to see a plane full of new Olim (245!) arrive. I was supposed to summarize the best parts of each speech, like how amazing it is that Natan Sharansky speaks to the Olim as they arrive, or how NBN will be bringing their 5,000th! immigrant to Israel this summer. I was also supposed to tell you how fantastic it was to see my friend come off the plane and join us, and how great it was to see another old friend whom I haven't seen since high school. But I waited too long, and we know that things can change in the blink of an eye, so today I have to write about death and loss and other terrible things that are too much to bear.

Most of you know by now about the 9 year old boy from Brooklyn, NY that went missing from his home Monday afternoon. Leiby left his day camp and was supposed to meet up with his parents for a doctor's appointment. Once again, the Jewish community came together in an unbelievable way. Over 2,000 volunteers hit the streets combing every inch of Brooklyn. Tips came pouring in, security cameras were watched and publicized for all to see so we could help. And the davening, once again the davening was amazing; not only did we all as individuals say tehillim, but a national teleconference was organized to say Tehillim together with thousands of Jews around the world.

But sometimes our prayers are answered as we ask, and sometimes they are not, and a little over 24 hours later, Leivy's remains were found in two different places in Brooklyn. This was the news that we read this afternoon, the news that made us come to a grinding halt, that we were forced to choke down moments before our own beautiful neshamos came breezing through the door. My 8 year old did not protest as I grabbed him and hugged him and breathed in his outdoorsy boy smell. He usually does, but today he must've understood that I needed that hug more than he'll ever know. It's hard to stay focused on the mundane when we hear of one of these tragedies, but I put my best foot forward and managed to put it out of my mind as much as I could while I made dinner and ran some errands. But now it's quieting down again.

Now I go back to FB and I see that yes, things can get worse. Another Jew was responsible for this brutal murder. All I can think of is how this little boy may have been lost and trusted another one of his "own kind", as the murderer was surely dressed the part. But little could Lieby Kletzy have known what wolves may lay in sheep's clothing. I don't want to say more, I don't want to think more about it, because like with Koby Mandel, A"H, all I can think about is the pain and fear that this little boy must've experienced in his last moments on earth.

I can only hug and kiss my own and give thanks for another day. I pray that the  Kletzky family knows no more sorrow and that G-d gives them the strength to somehow, someday move past this horrible tragedy.