Thursday, September 15, 2011

Did I Just Say That?

While I've been in bed for the past week (yes, I said week) I've had time to think about all the blog posts I have not been writing. There's....

1. The insanity involving the opening of the girls' elementary school called Orot in Beit Shemesh that's being violently contested by a group of ultra-orthodox crazies. But this topic has been beaten to death for me. My neighbor wrote a great post about it which I hope to publish one of these days when I can actually sit upright for more than an hour at a time. 

2. Migron--another evacuation and demolition of Jewish homes 5 kilometers from Jerusalem. This I can't write about because it's too painful and I get insanely emotional every time I go back to the video of our idiotic government sending our brothers and sons in to evacuate their own brothers and sisters from their homes. It's Gush Katif all over again and my emotions just take control and turn me into a lunatic, so I'm not ready to write about that yet either. So I guess tonight I have to keep it light. 

I'm taking a big risk here and letting you in to some very private moments in the W house. Don't laugh. Or do, but just don't think we're ridiculous. Big Abba W and I have a saying between us that goes like this: "Did I Just Say That?" You wouldn't believe some of the things that we've found ourselves saying. Here are some real-life examples:

--Please don't poke your brother in the eye with toothpicks. 
--Take that Kippah off the dog. 
--Don't put salt in your cereal. 
--Tzitis don't go wrapped around your head.
--Please go put that sniper back in the weapons bin.
--Please go throw out the pancake that is sitting in the bathroom sink.
--Stop letting the dog lick your mouth.
--Don't pour yogurt on the guest bed.
--Whose sock is this in the freezer?
--You can't come to Havdalah with your p*nis out.  
--You cannot leave your teeth on the sink! 
--Your blankie does not belong with you in the tub.
--How many times to I have to ask you not to leave your swords around?
--Please take the leash off of N.

I can't tell you how many more of these there are. I wish I would remember to write them down as they come. You can't make this stuff up. Seriously. Pay attention next time you talk to your kids, and share them with me so I feel less weird and dysfunctional. Wait, Did I Just Say That?


Wendy said...

Just this morning: Don't hit your brother before you wash negel vasser!

NekudaTova said...

ha! niiice. makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :)

SaraK said...

Wow, I don't even know what to say. Maybe I should hold off on coming for Shabbat til N turns 10 or so? :D